Day One Hundred Thirty

A friend's husband passed away this morning. They are an elderly couple who have gone through many health crises and the husband has been having dementia issues for about the six months now. They have been through a lot together, both good and bad. They are old school - they remind me of my parents, hard working, moral and deeply honest. She is just a little bitty thing who, just a few months ago, almost died after lung surgery to remove a growth. I'm sure her tenacity and the fact that she knew she still needed to care for her aging husband got her through the ordeal, but because her husband has been having many problems recently, she has become exhausted. On Sunday she had to call 911 to take her husband to the hospital as his dementia was getting to the breaking point for her. They diagnosed pneumonia and said he was in bad shape. I went over last night to talk with her and bring her something for dinner because I was sure that eating was the last thing on her mind. She told me all about the weekend ordeal and was quite distressed at how the dementia had taken her beloved away from her - she said the man who has been needing her constant attention for the past few months was a stranger most of the time. I almost felt relief for her knowing that he would probably never come home. This morning she called and left a message saying he had passed.

When I called her back, she said she had to tell me a story. After I left her house last night, she was just digging into the turkey soup I had left when a call rang the phone. She picked it up and was surprised that her husband was on the other end. He seemed very coherent and wanted her to come to the hospital. When she got there, the nurse said he had woken up, took off his oxygen and asked for the phone. He was sitting up in bed and smiled as she came into his room. He said, "I have something I want you to help me with." He then asked her to put his arms around her so that he could hug her. She did just that and they both exchanged prolonged, heartfelt "I love yous." He then said he wanted her to go home, take care of the dog and not come back to the hospital. When the nurse walked in, he said he wanted to go to sleep and requested the oxygen not be put back on. As my friend was walking out, her husband pointed his finger at her and said, "I'll see you down the road." After all the struggles she's had with him lately, she said she is thankful to have had that memory which will erase many of those she's experienced recently. She felt like she was able to say goodbye to the man she married many, many years ago. I will remember him as one of those men from my father's bent. Part of the greatest generation.