Day One Hundred Thirty

A friend's husband passed away this morning. They are an elderly couple who have gone through many health crises and the husband has been having dementia issues for about the six months now. They have been through a lot together, both good and bad. They are old school - they remind me of my parents, hard working, moral and deeply honest. She is just a little bitty thing who, just a few months ago, almost died after lung surgery to remove a growth. I'm sure her tenacity and the fact that she knew she still needed to care for her aging husband got her through the ordeal, but because her husband has been having many problems recently, she has become exhausted. On Sunday she had to call 911 to take her husband to the hospital as his dementia was getting to the breaking point for her. They diagnosed pneumonia and said he was in bad shape. I went over last night to talk with her and bring her something for dinner because I was sure that eating was the last thing on her mind. She told me all about the weekend ordeal and was quite distressed at how the dementia had taken her beloved away from her - she said the man who has been needing her constant attention for the past few months was a stranger most of the time. I almost felt relief for her knowing that he would probably never come home. This morning she called and left a message saying he had passed.

When I called her back, she said she had to tell me a story. After I left her house last night, she was just digging into the turkey soup I had left when a call rang the phone. She picked it up and was surprised that her husband was on the other end. He seemed very coherent and wanted her to come to the hospital. When she got there, the nurse said he had woken up, took off his oxygen and asked for the phone. He was sitting up in bed and smiled as she came into his room. He said, "I have something I want you to help me with." He then asked her to put his arms around her so that he could hug her. She did just that and they both exchanged prolonged, heartfelt "I love yous." He then said he wanted her to go home, take care of the dog and not come back to the hospital. When the nurse walked in, he said he wanted to go to sleep and requested the oxygen not be put back on. As my friend was walking out, her husband pointed his finger at her and said, "I'll see you down the road." After all the struggles she's had with him lately, she said she is thankful to have had that memory which will erase many of those she's experienced recently. She felt like she was able to say goodbye to the man she married many, many years ago. I will remember him as one of those men from my father's bent. Part of the greatest generation.

Day One Hundred Twenty-Nine

I'm not a turkey fanatic but I do love turkey sandwiches with cranberry sauce. The only thing I have left of the turkey and turkey breast I cooked this season is the breast which is great for just that. I usually balk at all the turkey recipes that seem to flood the cooking magazines - most of them sound just dreadful. I think you can really overdose on turkey if you're not careful. Recently, I informed my friend Marti of just how repugnant I found leftover turkey recipes when I commented that I hated turkey soup. Since she's a soupaholic, like me, I think she was shocked. But I must admit, and will probably take some ribbing for it, I did end up making turkey soup for dinner tonight. I had a ham bone that I threw in a pot to cook down for broth and added some onion, carrots, celery and some Harvest Grains Blend that Trader Joe's sells which is a nice blend of Israeli couscous, orzo, baby garbanzo beans and red quinoa. I also added the fried sage leaves I had left over, some herbs de provence and, yes, turkey! A little turkey gravy in the broth was good as well. Yum, it was good.

Day One Hundred Twenty-Eight

Bob and I took our walk today down by the river as the weather has turned sunny but still crispy. It was wonderful to see the sun for a change but we still needed our gloves, hats and scarves. I hope it stays dry for awhile - I like it when it snows, melts and goes away, remains dry for awhile and then snows again. Aren't I hard to please! I think I'm just use to the cycle of Northern Nevada winter weather.

Watching a movie (Stepmom) but I'm at the point of sappy saturation so I think it's time to crack one of the numerous books I have going (both actual paper and electronic). I'm such a techie. I do love my iPad and reading books on it is so convenient. The only problem is, I can't procrastinate as well with the iPad as I can with the paper version of a book. Leaving the book behind is always an option, but I take my iPad with me wherever I go. Then there's also the numerous books I have on my iPhone which I definitely never leave behind. I don't think religion has as much of an influence on us as our electronics do. Maybe the advent of all this technology is the second coming of Christ - or something like that. We just haven't been able to acknowledge it's preeminence since it doesn't have a human face - yet.

Day One Hundred Twenty-Seven

I've vowed never to shop on Black Friday and yesterday was no exception. Considering all the stories of people being trampled, pushed, shoved and ripped off, I am once again secure in my boycott of this ridiculous holiday tradition of hedonistic consumer spending and, what I believe to be a terrible way to begin the holiday season. There is absolutely nothing out there I would want to bring home that would warrant putting myself or my loved ones in harms way. Luckily, my children are grown and I don't have grandkids. But I did venture out today with a friend who I called this morning to see what she was doing and low and behold, she was getting ready to go out and asked if I wanted to tag along. The few shops we went to were rather quiet and we were able to get what little we needed with subdued effort. It was even nice to browse and the stores were so packed with merchandise, it made me wonder if yesterday was a success for the consumer spending index. Afterwards, I came home, unloaded my goodies, and pigged out on turkey again. The weather's been a real teaser today as it was sprinkling snow when we left, the sun came out while we were shopping, it's been a virtual blizzard since I got home, but now I can see some blue sky again. What fickled weather we have here in Nevada.

Day One Hundred Twenty-Five and Twenty-Six

I've already blown my resolve to blog everyday but I guess I had a good excuse - preparation of Thanksgiving dinner (although I had started cooking on Sunday and most everything was already in the fridge waiting to be reheated). The turkeys were the only things I needed to cook and also the task of stir frying the brussel sprouts. I must say, and my family seconds it, this meal was the very best of the best when it comes to the feast of the turkey come each November. I relied on several new techniques learned from Cook's Illustrated, probably my favorite cooking magazine. I like the fact that their recipes are tested as I have been burned many times by other cookbooks and cooking magazine recipes that were either marginal or failures. I think that's why I don't use recipes themselves but mainly get inspiration from the ideas and ingredients and then put them together as I see fit, or end up substituting certain ingredients for others that I think will work better. It seems to work for me. Cooking is all about technique and good ingredients as far as I'm concerned.

We did something different this year that I'm sure is going to become a tradition for us both at Thanksgiving and Christmas. At about 1:00 pm on Thanksgiving we sat down to a warm goat cheese, beet, arugula and mandarine orange salad with mandarine orange and vanilla balsamic vinagrette. It was very savory and after we ate and talked a bit, we put on our warm clothes and headed out to Riverview Park for a 2 mile walk. It was brisk, the sky was clear except for a few feathery clouds and the view of the new fallen snow in the valley and on the Sierras was just beautiful. We walked, talked and felt invigorated. When we returned, I just needed to make the gravy, brussel sprouts and carve the turkey. We had a leisurely dinner and didn't feel overly stuffed. Dishes were minimal and so we broke out the Scrabble board and began to play, with Bob leading off with a bizarre word that set the tone of the board for the evening. I never laughed so hard in my life listening to Jay and Eric joke around with the words that ended up finding their way onto the board. At one point I had to leave because my stomach muscles were in jeopardy of exploding. It's bad when these two brothers get together and it gets worse when you start laughing at their jokes! It just spurs them on.

I finally took pictures of the two pastels I did up at St. Mary's Art Center and I'm definitely ready to do some more. The photos I took are a little crooked as they're just taped on my easel but here they are.

Day One Hundred Twenty-Four

Ah sunshine, bitter cold, but sunshine nonetheless. There is a blanket of snow everywhere and I don't envy those people who are traveling to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with family and friends. I'm just happy my turkeys are submerged in brining solution, and the pies are the only thing I have left to assemble. Since I've been experiencing so much joint and muscle pain recently, I think it's a good thing that I won't be pressed to prepare much of our Thanksgiving feast - as my sons call it - in one day. Maybe I should start focusing my travel excursions to places that are warm and sunny instead of cold and rainy. It's terrible when your soul is one place and your body craves another.

Since my day is pretty much free, I think I'll try to put some finishing touches on the two pastels I did while in Virginia City. I'd like to start another painting while I wait for some photos of Scotland and England to arrive. I'm still concentrating on Italy but am anxious to tackle some of the compositions from our recent trip. Now the big decision is whether to learn to frame my own works as framing pastels can get rather pricey - minimum $250 and can go up, up, up from there. I must say that having the pastels back in my hand feels real, real good, especially after unloading a good portion of my fabric stash. It seems the more stuff I have, the more the stuff ends up defining what I do and who I am, or it is just a constant reminder that I have a lot "to do." There's much to be said for living simply, and absent of clutter.

It must be warming up outside as I see a Stellar Jay hopping from limb to limb in the neighbor's tree. I guess it's time to go spread some seed.

Day One Hundred Fourteen through Twenty-Three

This is probably the longest period of time I've let pass without blogging, so now I'm really playing catch up. I've missed it but the longer I go, the easier it seems to be to pass the opportunity by to do some reflection. There are times when it's almost physical for me to reflect and think about the things that are going on in my life, which isn't actually much. My need for a simple life is great though. If distraction persists for longer periods of time, the more difficult it becomes to get back on track and submit to the needs and desires for the enjoyment of living - just being.

We've been in the middle of a big push to get our front deck done with the help of the youngest son. He's done a fabulous job with little input from us as far as construction is concerned. Designwise, I gave him my vision and he more or less ran with it. I couldn't be more pleased. He's about 3/4 of the way finished and gave it all he could, working in the dark, before the snow started falling Friday night. Argggggggg! I am not ready for the snow, and right now it's falling hard - big flakes coming in different directions. It's funny, I'm looking over my neighbor's roofs and the snow is coming in a bit sideways. It's falling straight down in my yard, and next door, it's falling at an angle just opposite of the stuff falling on the street just below us. It's very pretty and tranquil - it almost seems like it's dancing to the music I have playing, swirling this way and that - but I'm just not ready for it. Maybe I just need to sit and realize that it is there for me to enjoy and relish if I so desire. Everything has a meaning and the meaning I place on it can help me through the day, the hour, the minute, if I so choose to allow the experience to bring me joy instead of fueling disappointment.

I am glad I went out yesterday and did all my Thanksgiving food shopping. I've purchased an organic turkey from our local butcher and it better be good as it cost me three times as much as a regular big box store turkey would! I also bought a turkey breast from Safeway and I plan to brine both, so we'll get a comparison and also more turkey for sandwiches. I was in a bit of a panic at Safeway while looking for fresh sage in the produce section. Last year all the grocery stores ran out and, of course, I had waited until the last minute to purchase it. So, this year I was bound and determined to get my sage. I immediately headed over to herbs and could feel my heart sink as I rummaged through the plastic packages looking for the "Fresh Sage" label. None. Fortunately, the produce guy saw my distress and asked me what I was looking for (I had totally decimated his tidy rows of packages). I said, with the look of horror in my eyes, "SAGE," as he wheeled his little produce cart toward me. As he got closer, he said, "How many would you like?" I was ecstatic as I cannot do without my crisped sage leaves on top of my yams - no marshmallows here. I felt like Fagan with his fingerless gloves clutching my sage bundles and gently tucking them into my cart - I think I began humming If I Were A Rich Man as I snuck away.  Deep fried herbs are a delicacy and sage is right up there in the must have category. This year I'm going to try browned butter and crispy sage leaf gnocchi if I'm not too rushed with the rest of the feast. I do have several dishes prepared. I made four miniature loaves of bread on Sunday, broth for the turkey gravy, and pureed the roasted sugar pie pumpkins. I'll probably get the pastry for the pies done today and maybe even the stuffing and yams. That way, I'll just have to cook and mash the potatoes, put the turkeys in the oven, stir fry the brussel sprouts and cook the green bean casserole. I'm sure I've forgot something, but it'll come to me. Looking forward to staying home and an intimate dining experience with my very favorite people. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Day One Hundred Nine through Thirteen

This is the first day I've been alone in the house since our vacation ended and, I must say, it feels good. I'm a bit down after spending four days at St. Mary's Art Center with some friends and acquaintances. Beautiful mountain air, sunshine and picturesque surroundings make for a relaxing experience. Even though I did produce two paintings which I am rather satisfied with, I just don't do well being around other women I don't seek out as regular companions. I find I have problems dealing with other's idiosyncrasies. It's better for me, now more than ever, to spend my time with people whom I have an intimate relationship with as I don't tend to notice things about them that may bother me. In other words, I guess I need to focus on the times I can be with my close friends and family and remind myself that these are the people who mean the most to me - those who I have the energy to expend my efforts toward, building even stronger relationships with and learning to love and appreciate on a deeper level. I feel like I neglect those who mean the most to me when I am around other's who I have problems tolerating. It's something I've tried to work on and, at times, I have been successful in doing just that, but for the most part I tend to revert back to the same level of intolerance that is deeply ingrained in me. Although maybe this time I have finally realized it's futile for me to continue trying and really, why am I challenging myself to achieve something that may not be in me. Why I don't just accept acknowledging those who I am comfortable around and skip the pretense of enjoying the rest, is beyond me. Maybe this realization will set some roots. Thank God for the good friends I do have and work to keep those friendships lasting and meaningful. I guess it's pertinent to the old adage about spreading oneself too thin which applies to people as well as activities.

Day One Hundred and Eight

It feels real good to have the pastels in my hand again. I have several photos from Scotland that I intend to use as subjects, but right now, I'm still using the photos of Italy for subject matter. I began a picture of Lucca - buildings and roofs - and decided to just take my time, not rush myself and don't expect a masterpiece after having been away from the chalks for a very long time. The subject matter has inspired me and I must say, the result is going together very well so far. It takes awhile to get back into the groove and just remembering where your colors are in the chalk trays is a challenge. Once I get back into identifying the colors I like to work with, color selection seems to be a rather natural process. I do know what colors I gravitate to. It's also a welcome relief to be with my friends and get some girl talk in. The relationship I have with several close friends I wouldn't trade for anything. I value them so much and am so fortunate to have these women in my life. I have demonstrated my appreciation by bringing back six pounds of assorted fudge from York, England, for us to enjoy this evening. I see that there are several pieces missing already! I did tell them they had to eat their dinner first but being the self-indulgent women they are, and me also, I can hardly blame them.

Day One Hundred and Seven

I'm still trying to recover from my jet lag as it seems I am ready for bed at about 7pm and then ready to get up at 5am or so. I guess that's not so bad, getting up in the morning is so nice when you have the opportunity to watch the sun rise and wait for the birds to awake and start their feeding frenzy in the yard. I did get all our Scotland photos processed and on my website, so I guess I'm ahead of the game but still feel like I have several more self induced projects to finish. I have been going through the Scotland photos on a regular basis just to reflect on the great time we had. Coming home is always a downer for me so I've decided to head up the Virginia City and St. Mary's Art Center for a four day retreat with some quilting friends. I won't be quilting however, the photos of Scotland have really motivated me to paint - so that's what I'll be doing.

Day One Hundred and Six

I don't know exactly why and probably won't spend much time trying to figure it out, but I grabbed my favorite photo of my father and felt compelled to sit with him for awhile. I can look at that picture and remember every little thing about him. The soft folds of his face, his smooth brow even though he was 78 years old and his salt and pepper hair (more black than grey) and how it was always neatly coiffed. My father had big bushy eyebrows that were a big part of his smile. And Dad always smelled so good. He had a large Adam's apple and his hands were gnarly but had a wonderful choreography about them. His smile was warm and his laugh infectious, especially the little impish grin that always accompanied the laugh. I'm just thinking that these are the things that make people alive. It's in the knowing, touching, laughing with and crying with, that give life to memories. I can look at pictures of my grandparents, but not having actually experienced their essence, I cannot know them. My father I did know, my brothers and sisters I do know, my husband, sons, and friends, I have touched and felt the life coursing through them. They have shared it with me. I think I underestimate the importance of the direct interactions I have with those around me. So many times, I end up spending so much time trying to figure out my legacy and don't realize that it's here right now, in the day-to-day encounters with all those people who are important to me. Legacy does not have to be tangible nor measureable, at least not to the person who owns the legacy. My father's legacy is in my hands, my eyes, my hair and the blood that courses through my veins. His legacy is in the hugs I can still feel and the many things we did together. He gave me the ability to laugh and get pleasure out of simple things - I can still hear him laugh at the Coyote and Roadrunner cartoon which would make me laugh too, more at him laughing at it. He gave me his sense of humor along with many other personality traits that I discover as I get older. As I see these things in myself, I know my father even better. I miss him, yes, but he left me with many, many cherished memories of a man who did the best with what he had and I can only hope he was happy - I think he was.

Day One Hundred Five

The walks down by the Carson River have really helped me get over the jet lag. It seems I have much energy in the morning, am ready to hit the hay at about 8pm, and then wake up about 3:30am ready to get up. But these past couple of days have moved the schedule a little closer to normal. I do like getting up to see the sunrise, however. Bob and I have been on a strict regimen of oatmeal and toast, so it's good that I've been getting up early to get it together. We ended up eating a lot of full English breakfasts as they were part of our bed & breakfast lodgings so, to counteract the mass consumption of eggs, hopefully the oatmeal with do the trick. I must admit though, I do love to have a full breakfast of eggs in the mornings and only do it when we vacation. Their eggs are incredible - the yolks look like pumpkins - and oh, how delicious. Of course, I heard that whiskey helps with cholesterol buildup and we drank plenty of that! And no, we did not come back with any bottles, I'll leave that up to anyone who needs a Christmas gift suggestion from me, Caol Ila.

I invited both the boys to come for dinner last night. The duck I cooked turned out luscious and we had roasted carrots from the garden along with some couscous seasoned with sauteed raisins and cabbage, with herbed goat cheese added when warmed. Homemade bread and butternut squash soup, also harvested from the garden, along side. It was nice to talk to Jay and hear about his days, but I missed Eric's presence and am anxious to see him. I'll just have to schedule another dinner I suppose.

Day One Hundred Three and Four

I've now had plenty of time to ponder the holiday abroad. I was glad to get home but in a different sort of way than most, I believe. The sights, sounds of smells of Nevada are wonderful in the Fall and we came back to some above-average temperatures and still in the full regalia of Fall color. I was back but somehow, not home.  If someone offered me a return ticket today, I would be packing. How can you not love a country whose road kill is ring-necked pheasant? I'm already pacing the house and not garnering any satisfaction from thinking about an activity that might just give me some temporary relief from my separation anxiety. I do look forward to seeing the boys - maybe that will bring me to grips with my present reality.

You can see my Scotland/England pictures by visiting http://scottishhighlandadventure.shutterfly.com/.

Day One Hundred and One

We spent the morning on an unhurried drive back to London, saying goodbye to all the wonderful sights that England is capable of producing. There were no stops, except for lunch, as it was good just to reflect on the times spent together in this wonderful, magical place. I'm never anxious to leave. I think Bob was ready to get back to the familiar and we headed home without incident. Many times we just sat and held hands - no words necessary.

Day One Hundred

When Bob and I travel we try to eat a good breakfast, skip lunch and have an early dinner. That way, we get the most walking and sightseeing in as possible. This tends to have another effect - the more we exercise, the more we can eat at dinner! It's great to be able to go to a nice restaurant and order a bottle of wine with our meal and actually finish the food and the wine. Tonight was no exception. Had a marvelous full English breakfast and then walked from our hotel (The Grange in York which I highly recommend)through Bootham Bar and right into York Minster. The sun was just coming in through the stained glass windows on the east side and we were able to have the whole place to ourselves. Very peaceful and awe inspiring as York Minister is probably one of the most sun lit, expansive cathedrals in all of Europe. It feels so modern and yet is so ancient. It's foundations are Roman and Norman which you can see by touring the below ground level excavations. We then spent the rest of the day shopping and museum hopping. We also got to walk some of the ramparts and climbed Cifford's Tower. I was able to snap a wonderful photo of York Minister and the walled area of York from the top of the Tower. The only purchases we made today were confined to a book Bob bought for the plane ride home and I was enticed by a shop keeper to sample some fudge which I was gawking at through the shop window and ended up with a couple of pounds of different flavors to bring home to my hommies.

With my package of sweet indulgence under my arm, we walked down to an Italian restaurant for our last dinner in York before heading off to London tomorrow morning. Great meal, great bottle of wine, a few chunks of fudge, and we were ready to get back to the hotel. We were the only ones in the restaurant, as it was still pretty early for diners on European dinner schedules, except for a little old Englishwoman sitting behind us who came in with her shopping bags and had a treacle pudding and a hot chocolate. Just before she left, putting on her overcoat, scarf and hat, she came over to apologize for intruding, asking us if we were on our honeymoon. I smiled heartily and informed her that we had actually been married for 30 years. She said she had been watching us, even though she could only see Bob's back, but had a full view of my face as Bob and I talked during our meal. We were both very flattered and talked with her for several minutes before she excused herself and left for home - a native Yorkshire woman. How wonderful that she shared her observation with us.