Day Fifty-Seven, Fifty-Eight and Fifty-Nine

Being away from the house is a mixed bag for me. On the one hand, I love to travel, to see things I've never seen before and experience the sense of history in new areas. These experiences truly awaken my desire to create, learn and most importantly, reflect on my life as being just a flash of time in the scheme of existence. There is something comforting about feeling small and insignificant - it allows me to just "be" without fearing the spores of inadequacy floating all around me, awaiting to land and slowly devour my uniquely human experience. We are all what we are supposed to be and we are truly alone in this world. By alone I mean each individual's experiences and thoughts can only be realized by that person. No one can be in the thoughts and experiences of another - in this sense we are on our own. Psychologists and psychiatrists attempt to explain the thought and experiences of others and predict human behavior. The real experience, however, is only there for the individual actually realizing it. Prediction is just that - an attempt to explain effect by viewing from the outside what a person does when faced with a litany of situations. Each of us are the only keepers of the key to ourselves. No one else, no manner how learned, can possess such a key. It's a powerful thing we all have and many of us don't even realize it. Our experience is clouded by greed, envy, uncontrollable desires and the man-made ideas related to purpose, faith and control - all barraging us from the outside when everything we need is inside. The act of being away from home produces the experiences needed for me to get back to the inside - home - where I can reflect on what makes "me," "me."