Day Nine

Before I left my most recent employment, I sent myself an email from work to remind me why, exactly, leaving my job was essential. I knew that if I just quit, without a plan, I would soon begin feeling guilty that I was not gainfully employed and, once again, convince myself that a career is necessary to be a productive, contributing member of society. A career gives a person worth. At least, that's the impression that I get from others. That's never been the case for me. My home and family gives me worth. The things I do in the garden give me worth. The little tasks that I create for myself give me worth. In other words, it's definitely not work. This is what I wrote to myself:

Plan the day each and every day. Have meaningful things to do, write them down and check them off. Start with small tasks. If large tasks become intimidating, break them into small parts and check them off as you go. Don’t feel like you have to finish a large task before you can go on to something else. If you can only tackle small things on any one day, do that! Don’t go for the big stuff until you feel successful enough to handle something bigger. Find beauty in everything you do and do it the best way you can. There is no need to hurry. Try a new recipe, perfect breadmaking, paint, sew, read, relax, look out the window and sip your tea. Find that perfect scone recipe you’ve been looking for. Work on the family history one person at a time. Start with your father as you are a lot like him – driven, anxiety filled, hard working, loving, and have a subtle humor. Remember you are loved and remember to love – you have a wonderful family and great friends. Worth comes from the heart. What makes the heart sing is what makes life important and meaningful. It is what gives us life and what we give to life. Now I must give life to my plants and do my morning watering as I see the tomatoes look a little wilted. After watering, I'll need to check on the canellini beans simmering on the stove. I soaked them overnight, drained the water and put a couple of bay leaves with the beans, salt and pepper, and lots of fresh water. They should be ready after about 20 to 25 minutes. It doesn't take long if they're soaked first.

I ended up picking some young chard out of the garden while watering the veggies. I'll cook those down in some broth made from an old hambone I've had in the freezer and then add the beans to the mixture which should yield a nice soup for this evening. I have some old crusty dark rye I'll paint with olive oil and put in the oven for croutons - a nice topping to the soup. A little fresh oregano might be a tasty addition to the soup. Can't wait for dinner.